Aha!
I had an "Aha!" moment tonight. It happened during "The Holiday", a VERY "chick-flick" movie. Every single woman in their 20's will see this movie and agree with every single thing each character says. It's almost scary because you honestly wondering if the writers were somehow in your life looking at your life and writing about it. I absolutely loved the movie and want to see it again. Oh, and Jude Law was delicious, even though you know he's a cheating cad in real life.
But I digress, my "Aha" moment came right after a conversation with BFF about the night before. The very very short version of last night was basically I ended seeing someone who I don't really want to be with, who I continually write back every time he texts/calls me, even though I think to myself "Why on earth am I responding?"
Three things hit me:
1. From GGB (brother of my good friend Bergie): "If he knew you were here (in the bar) and didn't come down to see you, then you weren't worth his time."
2. From Bergie (who, the night before gave me a look that said "I can't believe you are going to do this") said to me tonight, regarding my behavior, "It's absolutely fucking ridiculous."
3. My BFF saying tonight, "He's not a good guy."
I realized, right before, during, and after the movie, that I was done with it, done with him. I don't know why it took me so long, because I knew all along, but I think it was seeing him in action last night, and realizing that I didn't trust him at all. I didn't believe one damn word that came out of his mouth. I knew he was lying to my face when I point-blank called him out on some behaviors. And I realized that he wasn't sincere.
Thank GOD nothing happened at all last night!!
It was an "Aha!" moment. It finally clicked. I felt, and still feel, upset and anxious -- more that I might have lost the respect of some of my closest friends because of everything that happened rather than the act of closing the door on him, on our messed-up pen-pal relationship. Hopefully I can show them I mean it this time.
Geez, it feels like a weight's been lifted of my shoulders! Therapy session, done.
But I digress, my "Aha" moment came right after a conversation with BFF about the night before. The very very short version of last night was basically I ended seeing someone who I don't really want to be with, who I continually write back every time he texts/calls me, even though I think to myself "Why on earth am I responding?"
Three things hit me:
1. From GGB (brother of my good friend Bergie): "If he knew you were here (in the bar) and didn't come down to see you, then you weren't worth his time."
2. From Bergie (who, the night before gave me a look that said "I can't believe you are going to do this") said to me tonight, regarding my behavior, "It's absolutely fucking ridiculous."
3. My BFF saying tonight, "He's not a good guy."
I realized, right before, during, and after the movie, that I was done with it, done with him. I don't know why it took me so long, because I knew all along, but I think it was seeing him in action last night, and realizing that I didn't trust him at all. I didn't believe one damn word that came out of his mouth. I knew he was lying to my face when I point-blank called him out on some behaviors. And I realized that he wasn't sincere.
Thank GOD nothing happened at all last night!!
It was an "Aha!" moment. It finally clicked. I felt, and still feel, upset and anxious -- more that I might have lost the respect of some of my closest friends because of everything that happened rather than the act of closing the door on him, on our messed-up pen-pal relationship. Hopefully I can show them I mean it this time.
Geez, it feels like a weight's been lifted of my shoulders! Therapy session, done.
posted by Texas Blondie @ 10:29 PM
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