Huh?

Speechless. I am utterly speechless.

Ok, maybe I'm not - I would love to believe this is a plausible union, but doesn't that kiss look really really awkward?? It looks like he's eating her upper lip.

Ryan Seacrest and Teri Hatcher? Seriously?

Moving--the saga continues...

When did it get so expensive to hire movers? I have a small one-bedroom apartment. How does it cost $300 to move my crap into a storage facility? And those are "friend" prices because my next door neighbor owns a moving company--

Do you realize that at $90 an hour for two guys, that one of those guys, assuming he keeps 75% of the hourly fee, working 30 hours a week is making almost $50K a year? (I know what you're thinking, and my response, whatever, I'm a numbers girl, I have math degree, this is the way I think, so get over it.)

The Superficial cracks me up....

I have no idea who the smart-ass genius is behind this website, but this post on Tara Reid just made me laugh...(and honestly, do men really find her attractive? I just don't see it!)

Tara Reid showed up to the 2 Be Free 2006 Fall Fashion Show sporting low rise jeans and an ass so flat it actually curves inward. It's like somebody punched her in the butt as hard as they could and everything flew up into her chest. If she and Hank Hill had a kid, it'd have an ass so non-existent it would actually suck in matter. Like a blackhole, only less scientific.


(The Superficial)

Forget Brangelina--Vauhniston getting married???

Hot off the gossip presses....supposedly, Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are getting married this weekend at Oprah Winfrey's ginormous house in Montecito, CA........

Forget about the rumors of Brad & Angelina getting married this weekend.
Word on the street is that their union ain't happening (yet), but Vaughniston may be tying the knot this weekend instead.
Yup!
We've just had two people - independent of each other - tell us that Jennifer Aniston is planning a surprise wedding to Vince Vaughn THIS SUNDAY at the Montecito, CA, home of Oprah Winfrey.
Guess it's not a surprise anymore!
We're not sure if we believe this 100% yet, but as the old saying goes: where there's smoke, there's fire!
And, something's up with Maniston!!!

Hmm, now, this may not be true, but it sure would be a nice little slap in the face for good ole seed-spreading Brad....

http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/exclusives/jennifer_aniston_getting_married_this_weekend_20060318.php

Britney = no common sense

Found this little ditty on TheSuperficial.com---

Britain's Daily Star reports that Britney Spears was rushed to a hospital after stepping on a hypodermic needle. In a move completely out of character for her, Britney was wandering around barefoot in a parking lot when she stepped on it. A source comments:
"Britney is going to be fine. She's got a nasty cut but it's been disinfected and dressed and she's been released from hospital. It was more the shock of seeing the needle poking out of her foot - as you can imagine. All sorts of things race through your mind in that situation. The conclusion we would all jump to is that it was discarded by a drug user. Britney was distraught but brave."
No word yet on whether K-Fed got his needle back, or if this little incident will dissuade Britney from her future endeavors of wandering barefoot through public restrooms.

Nick Lachey dating zygote.

At least that is what I'll expect to hear after he stops playing nicey nicey with Laguna Beach's Kristen. Ok, I have a couple of beefs on this:

1. Seriously, how is this girl famous? If you watched LB, like I did, religiously, this girl was a bitch---to EVERYONE. She was a shitty friend, selfish, and egotistical. I guess that's perfect for Hollywood? What else is she known for? Going out with Brody Jenner? I honestly had no idea who he was OR who Bruce Jenner was (his dad) until I saw his bio on Skating with Celebrities...

2. Nick Nick Nick Nick. You are shooting yourself in the public eye here--how's everyone going to feel sorry for you if you're out humping anything with a va-jay-jay? I know I know....Jessica cut you off a long time ago (she was out boffing Adam Levine), but come on, let's exercise a little restraint here...

And please, stop dating someone who just graduated high school!!! Do you realize that when she was just coming out of diapers, you were getting your driver's license? Perv.

Demi Moore with child?

Ok, so this gossip is a touch late, having been posted on my favorite gossip site, Perezhilton.com yesterday, but look at this little snippet below:

Star magazine thinks she's preggers!
"Demi & Ashton's Miracle Baby," proclaims this week's latest issue.
According to the tab, on March 9, Demi made her third trip in one month to Petit Tresor, an upscale baby store in L.A.
The store locked its door so that Demi could shop in private.
She was particularly interested in changing tables and an armoire. "She was curious about delivery times for the furniture and about the colors and finishes," a source tells Bon Bon Fuller & Co.
Demi was overheard telling her shopping companion, a women in her 60's sporting a Kabbalah bracelet, "I like this for the baby," the source adds.
She also mentioned her hubby. She said, "I wonder if Ashton would like this." When Demi was told that it would take 8-12 weeks for the pieces to be delivered, "She said she wanted it sooner," says the source.

Ok, so Demi Moore looks fabulous, but isn't she like 150 now? But I guess if your husband is 28, anything is possible? They would have some good-looking children--but only after the kids had about $100,000 of plastic surgery, just to look like Mom....

Moving sucks.

I've been living in the same apartment for almost three years. And when I submitted my move-out notice, I thought it was a good idea. I wanted to move downtown, so I could be closer to everything, and avoid the horrific traffic that has cropped up on 2222 and 360.

Now I'm regretting it -- I mean, I have managed to accumulate a ton of crap. I mean, how did I accumulate so much junk? And now I'm stuck at home on a Saturday night trying to sort through everything so that I don't have a mad, stressful, pull-your-hair-out dash to get everything packed up. Ugh.

But look at some of the things I found in all this clutter:

• a course supplment for an economics class I took that was dated 1998. Now I must ask myself, why on earth did I need an 8-year old notebook? Did I think that one day I would be lounging around and then suddenly realize that I need to refresh my memory of supply and demand curves?
• The original sticker tag for a car I don't even own anymore (that I paid too much for too--hadn't quite learned the art of negotiating at 22)
• About 75 (and I am not exaggerating) plastic lids. You know, the kind that go to those disposable plastic containers that are meant to replace Tupperware (or non-disposable plastic lids). I honestly have no idea where those plastic containers went, but damned if I don't have all the lids that go to them!
• a telephone cord plugged into the wall and the other side isn't connected to anything
• plastic bottle caps - again, no idea where the plastic bottles went
• a bathmat from 5 years ago--that isn't even in the bathroom. I found it in a plastic bag in the closet.

and a pretty impressive coating of dust.

The sad part is that all this sorting and organizing is just making my apartment more messy. And as I am typing this, I look over to my right, and realize there is a spatula on the floor in the middle of my bedroom.

Help.

J.Lo and Skeletor

Courtesy of PerezHilton.com


Doesn't Mark Anthony remind you of Skeletor from He-Man? Plus, I never want be taller or outweigh my husband. Jennifer, you go from Ben Affleck to him? Seriously, I don't understand the allure of this man....

Ahh, the wonders of Nasalcort

How much to I love thee, let me count the ways....

Anyone that is from Austin or lives in Austin knows that allergies suck. And you might think you are healthy and won't have them, but the lingering cold ain't a cold. It's Austin--one of the wonderful side effects of living here. True, we have great live music, outdoor activities, night life, food, culture....but, to live here you must experience watery eyes, a perpetually dripping nose with redness ring around your nostrils, and a propensity to break into machine-gun sneezing.

BUT, there's a cure people. It's called Nasalcort (or Nasonex, they both work) - just a squirt up each nostril daily, and bye bye allergies. You must try this--say goodbye to your Zrytec and drowsiness foreva!!

Ok ok ok.....

So I've been a little out of touch lately.....February has been an incredibly busy month for me, let me fill you in....

I took a new position with the company I work for February 1st, and promptly had to go to Dallas to do training...no, not attend training, but do the training....it's called deep end, and then jumping...

Then, the next week, I had the wonderful fortune of getting 4 teeth cut out of my head. Yup, it was time to say goodbye to the good ole wisdom teeth. Luckily I got to have anethesia, but afterwards, I was pretty much comatose for the next three days.

Oh, but the fun doesn't end there....even though not quite off my mashed potato and pudding diet, I have to jet off again to Dallas for not one, but TWO conferences for work, meaning I have to be "on" for a minimum of 12 hours a day for 6 consecutive days. Needless to say I am totally pooped, and I have no idea how Kirsten does this for her job.

But, to end on a positive note, I found a new apartment and I am movin downtown! Of course, with the rent I'm paying, I won't be able to afford to do anything down there, but at least I will be right in the heart of all the action! And no, my place is too small to harbor my smashed friends who don't want pony up the cashola for a cab home! (well, unless you buy me something, like groceries, since I can't afford those now either.....)